As they pulled into the ballet studio parking lot, Andrew concealed his excitement to take his little sister’s place. He wanted to run as fast as he could inside so he could start stretching out and getting ready for the ballet session. Instead, he kept his macho attitude pretending he was upset with his Kimmy-punishment and grumbled sarcastically, “..Here we go again…yay…another 2 hours of sautés, pliés, En pointes, tendus and adagios….” From the driver’s seat, Michael turned around asking, “Huh?” Andrew explained, “Those are ballet moves.” “Oh.” Michael laughed, “Thanks for the heads-up. I’ve never been a ballet-mom before. I’ll need to learn what those things mean if I’m going to talk intelligently with the other moms.” Out of habit, Michael backed the car into a parking spot so he could pull forward when they left. As they got out of the car, he glanced at his parking job with confusion, “OMG! I just took up two parking spots! The car isn’t even close to straight! I’ve never backed-up a vehicle so bad in my life! What was I thinking? I thought it was perfect! How’d I end up with such a horrible parking job!??” Andrew snickered, “Don’t feel bad. Look around at all the other cars. None of them are parked very well either. Lots of them are taking up two spots. That was brave trying to reverse in. None of the other ballet moms tried doing that.” Michael sighed, “Damn. I’ve been a woman for less than a day and I’m already a horrible driver…” Andrew winked, “You got us here in one piece. Don’t beat yourself up over it.” Michael suggested, “Should I move it?” “Nah.” Andrew replied, “None of the other women cared how bad their parking job was. You better just leave it where it is, so you don’t risk bumping into another car trying to straighten it out.” Michael curiously asked, “How do I look?”
“Like mom.” Andrew replied.
Michael sighed, “I know I look like your mother. I’m in her body. I meant…how do I look? Is my hair okay? Is my makeup okay?”
“You look fine.” Andrew answered, “Relax. Were you this paranoid when you impersonated mom yesterday at golf?”
“No.’ Michael explained, “But that was different. I was playing golf. I love golf and know everything about it. I don’t know sh*t about being a ballet-mom.” Michael stretched his legs slightly and pulled at the materiel of the pants he borrowed from his wife, “My goodness. Female clothes are super tight. It doesn’t leave much for the imagination. How does my ass look in these leggings?”
“Exactly like mom’s ass.” Andrew replied.
Michael seemed relieved, “I guess that’s good. Your mother has always had a great ass.”
Andrew corrected, “It’s technically YOUR ass for the time being….SARA.”
Michael joked, “Watch it young lady. It’s MOM to you…KIMMY”
Andrew hid his excitement at being addressed as Kimmy. He loved being called by a girl name while he was masquerading around in his sister’s body. He especially liked being called young lady. It was the first time somebody had called him that since he’d been ‘stuck’ living her life. Not wanting to let his father know he was enjoying the situation, he grumbled, “If you think your clothes are snug…look at what I’m forced to wear!” Andrew motioned down to the tights and leotard he had on and did a quick spin showing how snug Kimmy’s ballet outfit was on her body.
Michael noticed something on Andrew’s backside and pointed out, “Uh…I hate to break it to you princess…but you have VPL.”
Andrew looked up reminding, “First of all…you shouldn’t call me princess. That’s what my DAD calls me! While you are in Mom’s body, you need to call me sweetie or honey. Secondly…what is VPL?”
“You’ve been a girl for a few weeks now and haven’t hear of VPL?” Michael replied with a sense of boasting that he knew something about females that Andrew didn’t.
“No.” Andrew replied.
Michael sighed, “Well…you definitely have VPL.”
Given Michael was staring down below his waist, Andrew tried to decipher the acronym, “..vagin*…something…?” In an unladylike move, he arched his head down and spread his legs slightly for a better view, “Oh sh*t. I don’t have a camel toe showing do I?”
“No. You’re fine in that department.” Michael chuckled while checking out his own crotch, “Speaking of camel toe…I still can’t believe how well female clothing is constructed. I would have thought for sure that I’d have a camel toe too with how tight these leggings are…”
Andrew explained, “I’ve learned that the inside of panties…swimsuits…and leotards all have an extra layer of fabric to help prevent that.”
Michael agreed, “I noticed that extra fabric when I slipped your mother’s thong on. She was right. I don’t feel like I have a constant wedgie. I forgot I was even wearing a thong. It’s not as uncomfortable as I imagined. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. You’ve been a girl for much longer than I have.”
“Not really. Princess panties don’t come in thongs!” Andrew glared, “I’m only 8. Kimmy doesn’t wear thongs yet. What is TPL? You said I had it! What does it stand for? Is it bad?”
“Visual pantie lines.” Michael replied, “And yes, you have it. I can see an outline of your panties underneath your leotard.”
Andrew laughed, “That’s what you are worried about? Relax. I know I have them. All the little girls in Kimmy’s ballet class have them too. It’s perfectly normal for a girl Kimmy’s age in beginner ballet class. It’s not until girls get older and their bodies start to mature when they start wearing different styles of panties under their leotards to prevent VPL.”
Michael was embarrassed that he didn’t know that, “Oh. I was just trying to help you out, so you didn’t get embarrassed.”
Andrew kept to the lie that he wasn’t thrilled about living Kimmy’s life, “Pantie lines are the least of my worries. I’m a teenage boy stuck in an 8 year old girl’s body dressed as a ballerina. That’s embarrassing enough.”
Michael felt bad for his son-turned-daughter, “Sorry about that sweetie. You know I’d do something about your punishment if I could. But we both know your mother figuratively and literally wears the pants in our relationship. We’ve been over this. Even though I’m in her body, I can’t override her authority.”
Andrew rolled his eyes, “You should stand up to mom! Just because you have a puss*, doesn’t mean you have to act like one.”
“Watch your mouth young lady!” Michael retorted with a giggle. Although he didn’t like being called a puss* by his son, hearing such words come out of his 8 year old daughter made him laugh.
Andrew silently grinned being called young lady again. Their conversation was about to be interrupted by another mother who was helping her daughter get out of the car. Andrew whispered, “That woman over there is named Meredith. She’s Zoe’s mother. You’ll be sitting with her in the viewing gallery. She’s one of your ballet-mom friends.”
Michael appreciated the advice, “Thanks.” He noticed Meredith and Zoe were a bit overweight and whispered, “Whoa. Skipping a few meals would be helpful for that mother-daughter combo…”
Andrew glared, “Don’t you dare say anything like that! When they walk up, you need to compliment Zoe on how pretty she looks in her ballerina outfit!”
“Zoe looks like she ate another ballerina. Why would I say that?” Michael chuckled.
“Because you’re a woman! That’s what women say! They compliment each other’s outfits and tell little ballerinas that they look adorable. If you’re going to pull off being mom, you need to say stuff like that! Tell Meredith you like her top and ask her where she got it!”
Michael laughed, “I know! I’m just joking! I learned about how women talk to each other yesterday on the golf course playing in the ladies tournament. I’ll admit that’s a fun perk about having a vagin*. I’ve never been able to tell a woman her butt looked fantastic in a skirt…or that her breasts looked great in a top…without getting slapped. I had a blast getting to tell the ladies stuff like that on the course. I got away with complimenting tons of sexy legs and feet too. When a compliment comes from another woman, they don’t think it’s creepy.” Michael chuckled as he noticed another mother getting out of a vehicle, “Whoa. I can’t wait to tell that woman those leggings look hot on her!”
Andrew realized his father (sort of) knew what he was doing, “Her name is Rachel. She’s….”
“..Anna’s mom.” Michael interrupted, “I know all the little girls names in your ballet class and their mom’s names. Your mother wouldn’t let me leave the house today in her body until I memorized all of them. She didn’t want me to embarrass her today infiltrating the ballet-mom squad.”
Andrew felt better about his father’s situation hearing that his mother made him study for this outing.
